


Try, Try Again

by pandorium



Series: More Transparent Than Water And Thicker Than Blood [10]
Category: Wizards of Waverly Place
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Car Trouble, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Incest, Magic, Siblings, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 01:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15938948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorium/pseuds/pandorium
Summary: It's been over a year since they last saw each other.





	Try, Try Again

The windshield wipers were violently ticking back and forth, threatening to fly off at any moment as they combatted the torrential rain and icy wind.  Alex could barely see anything past the small pools of light thrown against the glittering black of the road as she drew her jacket around her tighter, shivering.

She was stuck.  Of course she was.  Nothing could go right anymore.  In fact, nothing had been right in a long time.  People always think that love is the most powerful magic in the world.  Whoever came up with that idea had never experienced the anguish that came with a forbidden one.  Or had any idea that magic actually existed.

But magic wouldn't help her now.  Being the family wizard didn't make her the smartest.  Just the one who happened to have powers because her older brother **_gave_** them to her when he became the headmaster at Wiz Tech.  At that moment Justin's stick in the mud, studious habits would be massive help but she couldn't call him.  They hadn't talked in...she couldn't even remember anymore.

Alex stared blankly out at the oppressive darkness that surrounded her, eyes tracking the slow creeping of condensation misting the glass as she tried to figure any way around calling her brother.  She should've just used a spell to get her home for Thanksgiving but the draw of a road trip to prolong the moment when she'd come face to face with her family after spending all her time avoiding them was too strong to resist.  That and the excuse to leave early, claiming a long drive ahead of her to get back to school.  Now she was paying for it.  Apparently, another part of her penance.

Alex heaved a great sigh, checking her cell for bars before speed dialing Harper.

"Hey, are you almost home?  Did you get lost again?  I keep telling you that a GPS would be a much better investment than just trusting that you **_know_** where you're going, Alex.  It's not like you make the drive regularly, or at all for that matter."

She listened to her best friend prattle on for a moment until she had to pause for breath before cutting in, "I'm not lost, just broken down.  There's something wrong with the car and I can't do anything about it with this storm."

There was a telling silence that warned her of what was to come but it didn't make hearing it any easier, "Alex, just call him."

Her eyes narrowed, glaring at the window like it had done something to personally offend her, "No."

"I really don't see what other choice you have," Harper replied frankly.

Alex could hear the clatter of pots and pans in the background, knowing that Harper was probably helping Zeke prepare dinner.  Domestic bliss.  Must have been nice.  Even if they were squeezed together in a shoebox one bedroom just off campus.

"You're getting too wise in your old age.  I don't like it," she huffed, wiggling uncomfortably in her seat, her emergency lights blinking ominously.

Being stranded in the country side with a broken-down car was like begging for a thriller movie to happen.

Harper's soft chuckle crackled through the line, "Alex, we aren't old."

"Nineteen is old," she argued for the sake of contradicting her.

"No, it's not.  Now call him," Harper commanded, the drone of the dial tone following the abrupt cut off of noise filtering in from Harper's end.

"Fucking rude," Alex muttered.

Lightning flashed, jagged lines spearing through the inky sky.  **_Just do it.  Just call him._**

She thumbed the familiar number into her phone, the one she refused to save as a contact but could still remember perfectly.  There was a moment of hesitation before she jabbed savagely at the "call" button.  Usually this stupidity was only reserved for when she was too drunk and too hurt to stop herself.  When she just needed to hear his voice and try not to sob into his answering machine when he immediately sent the call to voicemail. 

It was how she preferred it.  It made the separation easier if he didn't answer.  She knew that if she let him he'd pick up right away, or at least call her back.  He used to when he was too concerned to ignore what she'd said.  But when he did she'd avoid it, throwing her phone across the room so she wouldn't be tempted to answer it.  She'd shattered the screen more in a few months than in her entire life.  After finding out about that-no doubt from her loud mouth bestie-he'd stopped trying to reach her.

This time the line rang twice before her call was rejected.  She left a hasty message explaining the situation before dropping her cell into the passenger seat.  Finally closing her eyes Alex rested her head against the steering wheel, trying to stave off the urge to vomit.

When Harper had found out about them it had all fallen apart.  It was the beginning of the end really despite Harper vowing to keep their secret and their determination to hold on.  The paranoia and the jealousy were too much to overcome.  Always wanting, always longing.  Nights spent without sleep just to have a few stolen moments together.  Contending with people that they could have actual, functioning relationships with that weren't frowned upon.  Dealing with the suspicions of their parents and the questions about their love lives.  It all came crashing down around them.  Just as the rain was hammering down around Alex while she tried to fight off the nausea that made her stomach roil.

There was a sudden lurch as the weight in the car shifted and Alex jumped, head whipping up to find Justin swearing colorfully in the seat next to her.  They froze, gazes locked for a moment before the awkwardness of the situation overwhelmed the shock of seeing each other after over a year apart.  It felt as though it had been a lifetime since she'd last felt the pull of his smoldering blue eyes upon her.

"What happened?" Justin inquired, squinting out at the hood.

"I don't know.  If I knew then I would've fixed it," she scoffed.

"Well did you even bother with any diagnostic spells or anything?" he asked, tapping his wand on the dash, brow furrowed as he studied it.

"No, that's what you're for.  To know nerdy things like "diagnostic spells" while I do all the cool stuff," she replied, the **_duh_** she had bubbling up in her throat coloring her tone.

Old patterns.  They never died.

She knew Justin was rolling his eyes but she said nothing.  Far gone was the time when she would've provoked him into an argument with her.  They were caught in an unending standoff.  Unable to move forward or backward they were forced to just exist in the same space.  When they both occupied it of course.  Which they hadn't for a long time.

"It's the radiator.  I'm pretty sure it's cracked," Justin informed her, muttering a few spells under his breath.

"It should be all right now.  Good enough to get you home where we can look up more mechanical spells," he added, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes.

She was openly staring at him.  Had been the whole time.

"Thanks," Alex said stiffly.

He gave a jerky nod, ruffling his fingers through his hair.  It was longer than it had been; shaggy almost.  There was a five o'clock shadow darkening and defining Justin's already chiseled jaw and his biceps bulged more than they had before from his t-shirt.  But other than that, he looked the same as he always had: gorgeous.  She took shallow breaths, refusing to give in to the temptation of breathing deeply enough to see if he still smelled the same as well.  Like old spice and laundry detergent and home.

They sat in silence, letting it press in on them until it felt like their lungs were screaming for air.  The familiar type of suffocation that often accompanied their interactions when they were trying to be good.

"How're Mom and Dad?" Alex asked.

"Fine.  Miss you," Justin answered succinctly.  There was a pregnant pause.

"We all do," he murmured.

Alex's breath caught in her throat, "Justin."

"How's college been?" And just like that he was veering onto a safer topic.  One that didn't stab quite as painfully sharp at her heart.

None of them had ever expected her to go to college.  Much less one in another state, far away from the family that she had come to accept was in fact her own and not one she'd been adopted into (much to her chagrin).  The one that she loved despite the many protests otherwise.

"Great."  The cheerful tone she'd attempted ruined when her voice cracked.

"Alex," Justin began.

She studied him passively, waiting for it.  She hated this, not being able to tell what he was thinking anymore.  She couldn't anticipate his next words or his mood, they were both shrouded too much in the past and all the things they weren't saying to one another.

"Did you mean it?" He finished, eyes boring fiercely into her own.

"Mean what?" she wondered.  But this she knew.  It was about one of those drunken phone calls in the middle of the night when her chest had been too torn open to stitch back together, blood gushing from old wounds.

"You know what," he insisted.  And she knew they were both remembering the alcohol fueled phone call she'd made a few months before. 

His motives for bringing up college were now very clear.  He wanted to talk about the things she'd rather forget.  To talk about how she'd broken in two, jagged edges protruding from her chest and keeping those who used to be closest to her at bay.  Until she'd gotten drunk enough to hiccup and cry into his answering machine yet again.

**_I can't anymore.  It's like I can't breathe without you.  No one is here to tell me that I'm being stupid or that it's illegal to drink when you're under 21 like a total buzzkill.  You're not here to bully me into studying or to reward me for_** actually reading ** _.  I miss you so much it's like I'm not even a person without you.  I'm not_** me. ** _I'm this twisted, version of myself.  I'm_** normal ** _.  Just another regular girl who doesn't know what she's doing with her life.  The only difference is that I used to.  And I can't pretend that I'm not breaking apart without you here to annoy the hell out of me then kiss everything better.  I just- I love you so much, Justin.  God, I can't believe I'm saying all this crap.  Pft. So stupid.  So stupid.  I'm just-I'm gonna--_**

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" she finally settled on.  It was the safest way to answer.

"Of course, it does, Alex."  He sounded so tired in that moment.  Like he was fifty instead of just a year and a half older than her.

"It fucking broke my heart hearing you like that," Justin confessed.

"I thought that being apart would make everything easier for both of us.  I can't decide what's worse though.  Being near you or being away from you," Alex whispered, eyes fixed on the gear shift.

"Being away," he croaked firmly.

She nodded in dazed agreement as his fingers threaded through hers.

"Look at me," he begged, clothing rustling against the vinyl as he leaned closer.

Alex met his gaze and let herself drown in it, swallowing past the lump in her throat.  Tears burned at the corners of her eyes, until her vision blurred just the slightest bit and she let out a watery snort as Justin pressed their foreheads together.  His nose nudged hers, eyes searching before finally closing when their lips brushed.

She drew away ever so slightly, dazed and longing to just give in, "We can't, Justin.  We tried before and it ended up like this."

"You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, you-" he began, a grin stretching across his face as he recited the old adage.

Alex actually knew this one, it was a rule she'd followed her entire life-at least when it came to frustrating her brother and getting into trouble-and she finished it.

"Try, try again."

And with the rain splattering against the windows and metal, Alex's gnarled heart untwisted itself and the tightness in her chest loosened.  She sank into her brother, allowing him to kiss away the tears that had gathered on her cheeks, and steal away her fears with his mouth upon hers.

"Dork," she teased softly, bunching the soft cotton of his shirt in her fists.

"Sap," he accused, biting at the first genuine smile she'd cracked in over a year before capturing her lips once more.

**Author's Note:**

> That is the end! Ahh, I can't believe it's over! I hope you really liked it and I hope you don't mind that I took a few liberties here and there with details. Thank you so much for reading! <3


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